26. What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite!
25. What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?
A stega-snore-us.
24. Why do seagulls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels!
23. What bone will a dog never eat?
A Trombone.
22. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
To eat the chickens on the other side.
21. Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?
Lack of concentration.
20. When will the little snake arrive?
I don’t know, but he won’t be long.
19. What’s the biggest moth in the world?
A mammoth.
18. What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
17. What type of markets do dogs avoid?
Flea markets!
16. What do music and chickens have in common?
Bach, Bach, Bach!
15. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
They have two left feet.
14. What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A do-you-think-he-saw-us.
13. What did one penny say to another penny?
We make cents.
12. What kind of lion never roars?
A dandelion!
11. Why did the clock go to the principal’s office?
For tocking too much.
10. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!
9. What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.
8. Why did the man run around his bed?
He was trying to catch up on sleep!
7. Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight knights!
6. Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
5. What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
4. Why is the grass so dangerous?
It’s full of blades.
3. Why is it so windy inside a sports arena?
All those fans.
2. Why did the student eat his homework?
Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
1. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
"Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing." ~ Carol Burnett