February 14, 2025 Lifelong Love “Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 9:9)
The above wise advice was written by King Solomon in his later years after many years of searching for happiness through intellectualism, worldly pleasures, riches, and power and finding that all of it was mere “vanity and vexation of spirit” (Ecclesiastes 1:14).
Solomon had 700 wives, all of whom were “princesses” and thus were marriages at least partially for purposes of prestige and politics. But various references in his book of Proverbs suggest that these were more a problem than a help. It is interesting that the Bible only records one son, Rehoboam, and two daughters.
That one son was born a year before Solomon became king, while he was still very young, and Naamah (Rehoboam’s mother) was thus very likely the only wife he really loved (compare 1 Kings 11:42; 14:21), as described so beautifully in his Song of Solomon, which Solomon himself called his “Song of Songs.”
So, it seems poignant and significant that near the end of his life Solomon counsels young men to cultivate that special love “with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity.” (Note also Proverbs 5:18-19.) The Bible very seldom refers to romantic love or marital love (nearly always biblical love is agape love), so this rare reference to romantic love (as between a young bride and bridegroom) is especially noteworthy. The admonition to “live joyfully” is from a word usually translated “alive,” so his advice was to keep that young marital love alive and fresh all through life! HMM
To know if you are ready to marry someone, you should know if you can negotiate with the person in such a way you have started to formulate a vision of a joint future that you can both look forward to with enthusiasm and confidence. That means considering if you have a sufficient number of joint interests and are oriented in the same direction with regard to careers, the possibility of children, and the manner in which you will interact with your in-laws, for example.
Experiencing the attraction that is associated with love is extraordinarily important. If you have it, you are unbelievably fortunate and should do everything you can to maintain it — and that takes effort. However, your relationship and future marriage cannot just be about attraction. You have to start considering your life together from the perspective of practicality and economics. You need to ally the attraction with maturity and intelligence in regard to how you are going to put your lives together on a level of detail. Ask and talk about: How are we going to handle our finances? Where are we going to live? What are our joint plans going to be? You should know the person well enough that you start discussing the real practical issues of life and determine if you are capable of negotiating those together.
Unless you make a lifelong commitment (i.e., one that you are not going to back out of), you are not going to take the relationship with the seriousness necessary to make it the highest possible quality and sustainability. The relationship you jointly operate adds immensely to the quality and depth of your life. You have the rope and strand of your life, and your partner has the rope and strand of theirs; those are tied together to make a stronger rope that unites you across time so you can undertake massive adventures together. It is challenging, but it is a process that produces an unbreakable bond between two beings. If the relationship is based on trust and genuine communication, that bond makes both individuals better in every way.
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Lifelong Love
“Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 9:9)
The above wise advice was written by King Solomon in his later years after many years of searching for happiness through intellectualism, worldly pleasures, riches, and power and finding that all of it was mere “vanity and vexation of spirit” (Ecclesiastes 1:14).
Solomon had 700 wives, all of whom were “princesses” and thus were marriages at least partially for purposes of prestige and politics. But various references in his book of Proverbs suggest that these were more a problem than a help. It is interesting that the Bible only records one son, Rehoboam, and two daughters.
That one son was born a year before Solomon became king, while he was still very young, and Naamah (Rehoboam’s mother) was thus very likely the only wife he really loved (compare 1 Kings 11:42; 14:21), as described so beautifully in his Song of Solomon, which Solomon himself called his “Song of Songs.”
So, it seems poignant and significant that near the end of his life Solomon counsels young men to cultivate that special love “with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity.” (Note also Proverbs 5:18-19.) The Bible very seldom refers to romantic love or marital love (nearly always biblical love is agape love), so this rare reference to romantic love (as between a young bride and bridegroom) is especially noteworthy. The admonition to “live joyfully” is from a word usually translated “alive,” so his advice was to keep that young marital love alive and fresh all through life! HMM
https://www.icr.org/article/15092/
https://www.dailywire.com/show/dr-jordan-b-peterson-on-marriage
https://mailchi.mp/jordanbpeterson.com/canada-day-1550881-xa3r5x2ma...
Jordan Peterson
Advice
Commit For A Lifetime: How To Know You Are Ready For Marriage
To know if you are ready to marry someone, you should know if you can negotiate with the person in such a way you have started to formulate a vision of a joint future that you can both look forward to with enthusiasm and confidence. That means considering if you have a sufficient number of joint interests and are oriented in the same direction with regard to careers, the possibility of children, and the manner in which you will interact with your in-laws, for example.
Experiencing the attraction that is associated with love is extraordinarily important. If you have it, you are unbelievably fortunate and should do everything you can to maintain it — and that takes effort. However, your relationship and future marriage cannot just be about attraction. You have to start considering your life together from the perspective of practicality and economics. You need to ally the attraction with maturity and intelligence in regard to how you are going to put your lives together on a level of detail. Ask and talk about: How are we going to handle our finances? Where are we going to live? What are our joint plans going to be? You should know the person well enough that you start discussing the real practical issues of life and determine if you are capable of negotiating those together.
Unless you make a lifelong commitment (i.e., one that you are not going to back out of), you are not going to take the relationship with the seriousness necessary to make it the highest possible quality and sustainability. The relationship you jointly operate adds immensely to the quality and depth of your life. You have the rope and strand of your life, and your partner has the rope and strand of theirs; those are tied together to make a stronger rope that unites you across time so you can undertake massive adventures together. It is challenging, but it is a process that produces an unbreakable bond between two beings. If the relationship is based on trust and genuine communication, that bond makes both individuals better in every way.
https://www.doorcounty.com/experience/cherries
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cana_Island